he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
