i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
