bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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