I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
