Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
