Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
