just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
