Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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