I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
