Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
false alarm, still single
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