I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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