I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
