I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
