I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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