Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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