Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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