They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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