Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
