At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
