It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
