I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
