I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
