I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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