the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
