My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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