He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
