i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
