im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
