I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
