i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
