i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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