Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
