Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
