i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
