He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
