Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
