google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
