sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
