If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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