I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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