Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
