Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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