So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
