I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I think I am morally bankrupt
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
