like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
