Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
