He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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