He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
