I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
