No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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