dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
