If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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