i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
