I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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