I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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