Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down

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(917): View more from New York City

you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys

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(815): View more from Illinois

I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.

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(210): View more from Texas

He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now

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(563): View more from Iowa

She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.

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(661): View more from California

She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises

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