stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize