Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
