We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I FOUND THE LEGS
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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